Monday, June 7, 2010

Adios

Well, today's the day I finally bid farewell to AMWJ.  This may come as a little bit of a surpise to some of you, but others it probably won't be as I've been telling some of you that I've been thinking of pulling the plug for a while now.  It just got to the point where it felt like something I had to do as opposed to something I wanted to do.  I always maintained that I'd keep doing it as long as it got fun, but believe it or not it actually does take a little effort to crank out these blog entries every night, and I just don't have it in me anymore.  If this was my actual job, it'd be ten times different, and AMWJ would be ten times better, but unfortunately that's just not the case.  That's been the crappy part the past few months while I've been thinking about doing this was that my worst case scenario had come true.  That scenario being I'm completely half @ssing the blog entries, it shows in the writing, it's not entertaining, and nobody wins. 

We gave it a good run though.  I just checked the site, we almost made it a full year (1st post was on 6/22/2009).  I managed to get a very loyal following of somewhere in the neighborhood of 15-20 people I would guess.  Unfortunately though, it never quite led to the world domination I was hoping for, or even any money or career opportunity whatsoever.  Oh well, I gave it a hell of a run and I couldn't have done it without all of you, so I thank all those loyal AMWJsters for all the time you've put into reading my ridiculousness over the past year (all 220 posts of it).  I thought about just scaling back to 1-2 posts a week, but the way I always figured it, the less active the site is, the more rapidly the interest declines.  Seeing that I have 15-20 readers, I don't exactly have a lot of room for decreased interest!  That's why I'm completely pulling the plug.

I'll miss the recaps the most.  They were always the most fun and hopefully provided you guys with some solid entertainment.  Nothing like my running commentary on all the funny randomness that would go on for me over the weekends and vacations.  Who knows, maybe if I go on a vacation and a ton of stuff good happens I'll fire up the lapper on the plane ride home and crank out an entry for old time's sake and let all you guys know.  We'll cross that bridge when we get to it though. 

For now though, that's all for the Jayman.  Thanks again for your loyal following over the past year.  Definitely been a fun ride and I hope I provided you with some laughs.  Certainly something I am glad I did as I do very much enjoy writing and it's kinda cool to have a written record of the past year, but it's time to move on.  Now, you're just gonna have to keep up on the Jayman happenings the old fashioned way, by sending me an email (yeah, real old fashioned) or picking up the phone and calling me. 

This is the Jayman signing out one last time.

RIP AMWJ. 

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Funny Joke

No long AMWJ tonight as it's Game 1 of Lakers/Celtics and you're damned right I'm gonna watch every second of it.  By the time this is over it'll be midnight and I'll be pooped.  However, not all is lost.  I read one of the funniest things I've ever read a couple minutes ago by Bill Simmons, who is doing a live running diary of the game from the Staples Center in LA. 

Some guy writes in "The big trophy is lame" regarding the big fake trophy on the floor during warmups.

Simmons responds "It's kinda cool in person. I thought it was a statue of AC Green's scrotum on his wedding night for a while."

(AC Green claims he was a virgin until he got married)

Here's a picture of what it looked like.  Hope you enjoy!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Golf Update and Some Missed Cincy Details

Alrighty quick little blogger tonight cause Jayman is pretty beat.  Just got back from the golf course and hit the showers and finally getting a few minutes to kick back and relax.  Got a few things in store for all you AMWJsters though...

Golf Tonight:

- I swear, seriously I wonder why I even play sometimes.  It's like I can write out the card before I even go out there.  49-44 for a 93 this week.  SO much different than the 50-43 for a 93 I shot last week.  Whatev, I had a blast anyway (and no, that was not a typo, I meant to say "Whatev").  Beers, cigars, and a hot dog at the turn...does it get any better than that?  And I'm telling you, for $28 at Fairways of Halfmoon, you can't beat it. 

- Definitely came the closest to dying out there that I've ever come before, so that was interesting.  Me and AT had the cart by my ball, probably like 40-50 yards ahead of HemROYd and Timberlake, and a little off to the right.  They were like maybe 150 yards from the hole or so.  Bill was shooting, and I'm just gabbing away with AT, not really paying attention.  You know, cause I was 40 yards ahead of him and off to the right when he was shooting at the green from 150 yards away and all.  I'm talking with AT and all of a sudden he just yells "LOOK OUT!!!"  I turn around, and the ball is coming RIGHT at my head.  I just freeze and then hit the deck.  The thing missed me by about 3 inches I think.  Thank freaking God I got out of the way or who knows what the hell woulda happened.  That had very serious like for real bad potential.  We all got a couple good laughs out of it since I was fine, but aye aye aye, that was almost the end of the Jayman Era right there.  First the plane that almost goes down, and then this.  I'm scared to ask what's next...

Cincy Updates:

So it has come to my attention (from the Snitch basically) that I forgot to mention a few details about the trip, so I'm throwing them in there now. 

- Missed Detail #1 - GW's friend out there came to the Reds/Astros game with us on Saturday evening.  She had this old school 'Stros jersey that they wore in the mid 80's.  Well when we all came back from the game, she brought going out clothes to change into, but we all stayed in.  So the jersey was left at the GW's apartment. Well, the next day, GW and I both decide to try this thing on and Good Lord, you should've seen the carnage.  CS took some pictures, if I can get a hold of them, I'll throw them up here.  Let's just say it was skin tight and it didn't go past my bellybutton.

- Missed Detail #2 - When the GW had the jersey on, me and Snitch picked him up and we got a picture of it.  It was great, we got GW mid belly jiggle laugh.  Classic.  Then, to rival the Hulkster body slamming Andre the Giants in Wrestlemania 3, me and the GW got Snitch up in the air and we got a picture of him too.  The look of sheer terror on his face was very reminiscent of the Jayman on the Sky Coaster at the Great Escape last fall (youtube "Jay Gonyo" if you don't know what I'm talking about). 

- Missed Detail #3 - When we were in line to get ice cream on Sunday evening, there were these 13-14 year old girls walking in the store next to us.  At the same time I cut in front of Snitch, he yells out "No cutting in line" and one of the girls looks scared to death and was like "Umm, I'm not cutting" - classic Sitch!

I'm sure there are another million details that I missed but between last night's blogger and this one, that should have hit on all the major points. 

Hope you all enjoyed this evening's edition of AMWJ.  Thank your lucky stars you still have the Jayman in your life after that errant approach shot tonight, I know I am. 

Alrighty that's it.  Time to kick the feet up and watch some tube and then call it a night.  Hope you had great days.  I'll catch up with you soon...

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Scumcinnati Recap

Well, it’s the blog you’ve all been waiting for, the Scumcinnati recap blog! My God it seems like forever since I’ve even been in the 5-1-8, much less thrown a blog out there. It feels good. I needed to be surrounded by those filthy pigs out in the ‘Nati to get my zest for AMWJ back. Not like it matters, but I figured I’d throw it out there anyway; this is one of those fun blogs that I’m bringing to you from 30,000 feet above the ground. I’m telling you, the things I do for you people.

So the trip begins at the God awful time of 4:15 am on Saturday morning. That’s what time my alarm is set for as Big Red is going to pick us up (me and CS) at 4:30. Originally I thought I was going to be away for work last week, and not arriving back into Albany until Friday night, so we had to make the decision to fly out early Saturday morning. Then it turns out I didn’t have to go out of town, but we still had the early flight anyway. So just remember when I write all that stuff that happened on Saturday that I was awake on about 4 hours of sleep at 4:15 am. G-U-H.

After Big Red drives us to the airport like a bat out of hell (for no reason whatsoever, other than he’s just a horrible driver), we manage to take off sans problems. We’re in the air and on our way. However, right as we’re about to land, Big Red and I, since we’re in the 2nd row, can smell it clear as day the smell of burning rubber. Ruh roh. This can’t be good. Neither can the sudden nose dive we’re seemingly taking. Ah well, if this is the end of the road, it’s been a helluva ride and it’s probably a pretty painless way to go. But alas, the pilot managed to steer the ship clear of any danger and get us to the ground safely. Only, it’s a first for JTG when we get there. Immediately upon landing a couple of firemen come barging through the door to check out the cabin. Then the flight attendant says “Don’t worry about the emergency vehicles outside, they’re for us, but everything’s fine.” When I exit the plane, she wasn’t kidding, there was like 3 fire trucks and a few ambulances out there! And you thought I was kidding about escaping death.

So needless to say, after that rough flight, the Jayman had worked up an appetite. GW’s first order of business is taking us to this dive of a place that I must say does serve a pretty awesome breakfast. I get something called “The Hot Mess” which led to about a hundred jokes throughout the weekend that it would somehow leave a hot mess in my pants later on. Other than probably having enough calories to satisfy the old Jayman body for 3 weeks, it was great! Home fries, bacon, scrambled eggs all mixed together with biscuit gravy (whatever the heck that is) and a ton of cheese heaped on top. Not bad, I’ve been in the ‘Nati for 30 minutes and already I’m about 40,000 calories in. It’s gonna be a great weekend! GW even picks up the check, yessss…

So after we get breakfast, we go on a beer and cigar run. After all, what else are we going to do all day? We head across the border and ship it on over to Kentucky (only like 10 minutes away) and go to this liquor/beer/wine/cigar store. After finding what we wanted and paying for it, we head back on outside. Just to give you an idea of the kind of filthy people we’re dealing with here, let me just tell you what happened as I was walking out. I’m in the crosswalk outside the store, but a car is coming, so I’m waiting. Then he waives me on, so I go. I extend my hand as a thank you. He rolls down the window, and then is laughing as he says “Don’t worry, I only hit black people.” Alrighty then! I mean, I guess since he was black he can say that, but still. Only in Cincitucky.

After we get back to the GW’s house, it’s about 11:30 am. Well, whatever, it’s noon somewhere, it’s time to start playing some low limit poker, smoking cigars, and having a few brewskies. The next 5 hours are spent doing just that. All kinds of ridiculousness follows. I put a $1 bounty on the GW to whoever knocked him out. That got paid in about 12 seconds. Then he rebought and I put a $2 bounty on his head, and that got paid in about 20 seconds. I quickly put a 3rd bounty on his head but thankfully didn’t have to pay that one out. The Sitch bought in for $10 and had it up to about $25 at one point. GW then put a $5 bounty on his head and if we didn’t stop playing when we did, he would have almost certainly had to pay it as the Sitch (aka Big Red) cashed out a whopping $1.50. Way to be Big Red!

After the drinking and pokering session ended, we decided to hit up downtown ‘Nati for the Taste of Cincinnati Festival. At this point, the temperature was a whopping 91 degrees and with the humidity felt like about 125 degrees. Also, we were all a little drunk and pretty much starving since we hadn’t eaten since breakfast (when I got The Hot Mess, which I had turned into by about 3:00). I hit up about 4 different food stands and crush something from each and every one of them in about 3 bites. I’m fairly certain I ate it like a snake eats its prey, just in one huge solid gulp without chewing. I didn’t care, I was famished. Festival was pretty fun, there was lots of bands, food tents, brewskies, and of course, scumbags. What more could you ask for?

After that, we decide to head to the Reds/Astros game. After some very unsuccessful attempts at ripping off some scalpers, we ended up paying I’m sure more than face value for some outfield tickets ($20 each, but the cost of the ticket wasn’t on it…I was sure they were gonna be fake, but hey, what do ya know, we were actually allowed in). The seats weren’t horrible either. Only half a section up in dead center field. Let me tell you something, when you sit that far out in center field, you’re sitting with the scumbags! It was a blast though. The Reds put on a HR Derby out there for us, it was great. I think the Reds won like 11-2 or something, I have no idea. I just know I was barely paying attention and way more into drinking and being a filthy pig to everyone. Oh, and I was wearing Big Red’s “Motorboatin’ Champ” shirt and sweating like a pig in it. Good times, good times.

After the game, I have no idea how I was even standing at that point (after probably a dozen beers and again, I’ve been up since 4:15 in the morning). Surprisingly though, I’m actually not that bad. However, we make a beer run and do another session of late night pokering, smoking cigars, and I probably knocked back another 3 beers or so. Probably could have done without that. Adios to the Jayman, time to go to bed. We were all pretty tuckered out and decided to call it a night. I’m definitely drunk at this point, but again, given how much we drank, how much we were in the sun, and how early I’d gotten up on Saturday morning, all things considered, I fully expected to be much more of a drunken mess than I was. I was quite proud of myself. Fun drunk Jayman = Good. Too drunk Jayman = bad. I was solidly right in the Fun drunk stage all day Saturday.

Sunday morning rolls around and surprisingly everyone is actually in pretty good shape. How about that? We walk to a little coffee shop a mile or so from the GW’s place and get a cup of joe. Only, I got a smoothie instead cause I already had a cup at GW’s house. It’s another friggin’ hot one out there too. I sweat a lot, as anyone who knows me can attest, but my God, I thought Pollack was going to die of dehydration. Poor guy’s shirt was soaked. I thought me and the GW were going to have to carry him home! Luckily for us, we didn’t and he managed to make it in one piece.

After coffee we hit up a local hotspot called Terry’s for what are by far the filthiest, greasiest, greatest hamburgers you’re ever going to want to have in your entire life. Between my burger there and The Hot Mess on Saturday morning, I easily took 3 years off my life. Those will be the bedwetting years anyway, so not a big deal. We all eat like filthy pigs and love every second of it.

Speaking of filthy pigs, that’s exactly what we go to see next. We hit up the Cincinnati Zoo for the afternoon. Great times had by all. Anyone who wants to read my recap from last August when I went out to Scumcinnati with my Mom and we went to the zoo, it was pretty much the same as then. Lots of jokes about who was cleaner, the animals or the people there. Most of the animals there had way more teeth than the people there. Saw a polar bear take a big dump, which was pretty funny. The scummy guys next to me was like “Yup, definitely took a deuce” in the filthiest voice of all time, which I loved. Since it was about 145 degrees Fahrenheit, most of the animals were in heat induced comas, so that kind of stunk. GW wasn’t a fan when he was getting his picture taken while feeding a giraffe and I said “it’s the tallest thing in the zoo getting a picture with the shortest thing in the zoo.” Hey, I thought it was funny. And then an 8 year old was giving me lip when I thought a goat bit me as I tried to feed it. Wasn’t such a huge fan of that. All in all though, a great time had by all.

After the Zoo, we head back to the GW’s and ship it on over to the pool. We get there, and I couldn’t tell if I was in Scumcinnati or if I was on spring break in Cancun. It was insane. GW lives in a pretty nice apartment complex, no doubt about it. I guess it’s known for being the hot spot for like late twentysomethings and early thirtysomethings and boy were they out in full force. Everyone throwing back brew dogs. They even had a beer pong table going IN the water, which was just about the coolest thing of all time. I’m fairly certain the girl next to us was a stripper. They’d all probably been there since about 11 in the morning. Music’s going, it’s like a freaking Coors Light commercial out there. And I’m loving every second of it! Oh yeah, the water is heated too so it’s like a bathtub in there. It really doesn’t get any better than this. We joined in on the fun and threw back a couple brewskies too. You know what they say, when in Rome…

So after spring break, errr, the pool, we hit up one of my favorite spots in the ‘Nati called City Barbecue. Just an awesome BBQ place with some of the best stuff you’ll ever have. I gorge myself as all I’ve had all day was just that burger at Terry’s….oh yeah, and an ice cream cone at the Zoo. Everyone eats like a pig and we are all stuffed just about to maximum capacity.

Only, we’re not REALLY stuffed to maximum capacity, cause we go on ice cream run #2 of the day to a local favorite spot called Graters. It was freaking delicious. I got a milk shake and it was probably done in about 3 bites. However, seeing as they had to roll me back to the car, I probably could have done without it. I think everyone was pretty full from being such pigs all day, combined with the heat and the amount of walking we did. We got back to the GW’s place and it was pretty much lights out for all of us as I think we were all asleep by 11:00 or so. Another great day in the books.

On Monday morning we say goodbye to CS as she couldn’t get Tuesday off like me and Big Red did. After that, it’s just the boys! Me, GW, and Big Red decide to return to the scene of the crime. What’s that you say? We head back to the Hollywood Casino, the sight of the worst blackjack beating I’ve ever taken in my entire life (not the worst dollarwise, but dollar per minute it probably was, as well as the least fun ever). I’m back to get my revenge! We all know how this is going to turn out. The highlights:

- We all throw $5 in and bet it on red, as always, to see if it’s going to be a good day or not. Yikes, it’s black. Now I’m 5 IN the red for the day.

- We hit up the poker room with every intention of just playing a little low limit poker for the day and heading back to the GW’s place around 3 or 4. However, after waiting for a half hour or so, it was clear we weren’t gonna get on a table anytime soon. Time to hit the blackjack tables!

- Big Red decides to play a slot machine while we were waiting for the poker tables and hits it big. He turns $3 into $43.75. Not a bad little score. I try my luck with $10 in a slot machine and it’s gone in about 14 seconds.

- Mmm, nothing like a casino hot dog to nourish me before a big run at the blackjack tables. It looked about 50x better than the bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant that the GW got.

- We head to the tables and what do you know, the rabid jackal that tore my heart out last time was there at the same table (Linda maybe? I’ve tried to block her name out of my head). I’m here to get my revenge, and there’s nothing you can do about it!

- First hand, dealer has blackjack. Awful flashbacks come flying through my head!

- She has blackjack 2x in the first 6 hands. I’m even though through some miracle of God.

- 7th hand, she has a 2. We’re at a $15 minimum table and through doubles and splits I have 3 hands going with $75 total on the line. I’ve got a 20 ($30), a 19 ($30), and a 17 ($15). She’s showing a 2. Flips it over, 2. Next card Jack. THE POWER GOES OUT IN THE WHOLE CASINO!!! Everything, pitch black. I’m freaking out. The pit boss comes over and says “STOP”. Everyone is freaking out. Nobody knows what the hell is going on. Then the lights come back on, and the pit boss says finish the hand and then we’re shutting the table down. She flips over a 7 (as if there were any doubt) and has the most smug look on her face ever. I wanted to beat the living crap out of her and everyone in that casino. If we could have cashed out our chips (couldn’t cause the ticket windows were closed) we would’ve gone home.

- We wait about 30 minutes til the tables come back and I REFUSE to play at that table with the ice queen anymore. I’ll never let her deal me a hand of blackjack ever again. GW and Pollack quickly learn their lessons too as they stay while I jumped ship over to Donna’s table. They later joined me over there as well. We’d spent the next 6 hours at this table!

- I go belly up there too and decide that I’ve lost enough, I was gonna cut my losses and call it a day. Then there was this drunk guy named Mick who was hilarious and he befriended the GW and freaking loved us. He took a huge liking to the fact that we called Big Red “Snitch” and called him that all day.

- Mick talks me into playing again, and I run that $100 up to around $400 or so in an hour. About time something good happens for the Jayman! Do I take my good fortune and walk away like I should have? Come on, you know me better than that.

- Mick was pretty drunk and did something I’ve never seen. He has 2-2 vs. a King and split them. He ended up splitting one more time and got 3 21’s as me and Donna looked on in amazement.

- We were clearly the loudest, most fun table the casino had going. There wasn’t even a 2nd place. We’re buying Mick drinks, he’s buying us drinks. We’re hooting, we’re hollering. It’s insane.

- Donna told me “You really think you’re hilarious don’t you?” It’s like she knew me her whole life!

- Donna laughed her butt off when I told her I was a member of the MIT blackjack team. I think the words “worst member of the team ever” were uttered.

- The next couple hours are a roller coaster and I cash out with about $240. I was also all in two separate times before that too! Snitch is down some and the GW is up a couple hundred. We even get comped a free buffet too!

- We eat like it’s our last meal and we’d never seen food before. That was roughly 18 hours ago and I’ve only had a muffin since then and I’m STILL full.

- After dinner, we do the stupidest thing ever and go back to the tables to try and recreate the magic from earlier. Bad, bad idea. Different dealer, different table, we’re not drinking anymore. It just had disaster written all over it, and it was. GW was the smart one, he left and played some roulette (and made another big score). Me and Snitch stayed and got our butts handed to us. Ah well, can’t win ‘em all I guess.

So that was the 2nd trip to Hollywood Casino. Once again, it got the better of JTG but at least I had a blast going this time around as opposed to last time. If I am going to gamble and lose, I might as well have fun doing it.

That was it from the Nasty ‘Nati. Helluva trip. I feel like we squeezed a month’s worth of stuff into 3 days. And what perfect timing too, the flight attendant just told us to put all our electronic devices away. On that note, I think I’ll do just that. Glad to be back in the 5-1-8 and return to normal life once again, cause these past 3 days have been more of a fantasyland than anything.

Adios Nasty ‘Nati, I’ll be back in a couple months…

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Hottest Round of Golf Ever, The Recap

A golf recap I promised yesterday, and a golf recap I’m going to deliver today. Look at the Jayman actually coming through on his AMWJ promises for once…just don’t get too used to it, okay?

- So as I mentioned yesterday, it was like a sauna out there. I heard an interesting fact on the radio this morning on my way into work: the high in Albany yesterday was 94 degrees, and the high in Miami, FL was 75 degrees. How often does that happen?!?

- Several occasions (actually, almost every time) I would be lining up for a putt yesterday, the sweat would literally be dripping off my face onto the green, onto my ball, onto my sunglasses, etc. It was disgusting. I got so sick of wiping the sweat off my sunglasses I finally 86’d them at about the 7th hole. It was a damned if you do, damned if you don’t kind of situation. I couldn’t see with them cause of the sweat marks, and I couldn’t see with them cause of the blaring sun. I was like Ray Charles out there trying to play golf.

- Ended up shooting a 50-43 which was pretty good. Just the most standard Jayman round ever. Had some great shots, had some terrible shots, and the rest were all pretty much inbetween. I missed a bunch of putts by like a couple inches which got to be pretty frustrating. Then again, I was pretty lucky to find my ball a couple times too.

- The course was absolutely beautiful. I’d highly recommend it. Fairways of Halfmoon in you guessed it, Halfmoon, NY. Only $28 for 18 with a cart when using the Capital Region Golf Card.

- Well, it was beautiful all except the random 4 or 5 reddish orangish stripes that ran through the green on the 18th hole. Those didn’t really fit in with the rest of the course outline.

- The woman at the turn made it seem like us ordering 5 hot dogs (Hem-ROY-d had to get 2) was going to spell complete and utter chaos for the kitchen of Fairways of Halfmoon. Seriously, you’d think we ordered the lobster. If the callbox had been working on the 9th tee, we would have ordered them ahead of time. However, the hot dogs came out about 20 seconds later so it couldn’t have been THAT much of an inconvenience to this woman, right? Funniest part was that she said the kitchen was slammed, and there were all of about 3 tables eating dinner inside and one group of 3 guys drinking beer outside.

- We played with the same guy that we played with on Sunday, only this time he brought his nephew instead of his brother. The guy was telling the nephew about how good the golf balls he was using are, and the nephew responds “You get 100 of them for 30 bucks, they ain’t that good!”

- On the last hole, our buddy was clearly struggling and just looking to get off the course. He thought his ball was on the fringe, but the ball on the fringe was actually JTG’s, and his ball was like 5 yards behind the fringe, in some pretty deep rough. This is clearly the sign of a beaten man: instead of going back to get his pitching wedge, he tries to putt the ball through the rough and it went about 3 feet. It took every ounce of my willpower not to fall down laughing. Absolutely hilarious.

- We actually came up with a decent plan as to who was going to handle what going into the day. I was going to pick up the cigars the night before, Bill was going to get the beers, and it turned out our other buddy bought the hot dogs for us. I asked our friend if his nephew would want a cigar, and he was adamant that his nephew wouldn’t have one. Fifth hole tee box, I bust them out. His nephew’s eyes lit up and says “I’ll definitely have one!” Umm, sorry, I only got three. I felt like such a deusch. They ended up splitting the one I got for our 3rd friend.

- It has to run in the family, cause our buddy, his brother (from Sunday), and his nephew all love to announce which shot they’re on. It’s so funny. They’ll be chipping from 30 yards out “This is for par”. Putting from 60 feet “This is for double”. 8 iron from 140 yards “This if for eagle”. Never played with anyone else that did this. I made sure to tell Hem-ROY-d that when I was teeing off on the 18th I was going for double eagle.

- I’ve also never played with guys that got more excited for other people’s good shots than these guys did. It was really cool, just unusual. I usually just say “nice shot” (but I never mean it) and that’s about it. The nephew got INTO it. I almost drove the green on a par 4 and I thought he was going to hug me. Just great guys though, definitely a lotta fun to play with them.

So that was the golf summary to the best of my recollection. I’m fairly certain I drifted in and out of consciousness due to heat stroke several times throughout the round, so I’m sure there are parts that I’m missing. Those were the highlights that I could remember to the best of my ability though.

Other big news is that William Hem-Roy-d has become such a local celebrity among my inner circle that he’s actually been given an invitation to AT’s Bachelor Party in a few weeks. Although, there were some stipulations that Bill could not bring any of his “toys” with him to use with the entertainers. However, the invite has been made, and now, through the channel known as AMWJ, the invitation has been made even more public. You’ve been called out Billy Boy, make the right choice, come to that damn party!

I think that might be about it for tonight. Next step, heading on a plane to go out to the Nasty Nati. I’ll do my best to keep solid mental notes of all the happenings out there which will hopefully lead to some solid blogging fodder. Me, Big Red, CS and the GW will be sure to be wreaking as much havoc as possible. Well, at least Big Red will when he goes cougar hunting! CS has already declared that she looks forward to a weekend of drunken debauchery, so there’s a very good chance the LROC (I nicknamed her the Lightning Rod of Controversy) will be making an appearance or two. Good times people, good times.

Hope you all enjoyed your weeks. I’m not back in town ‘til Tuesday afternoon, so no idea when the next blog will be. Probably Tuesday or Wednesday if I had to guess. Make sure to check back in and don’t forget about me! I’ll catch up with you soon…

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Hottest Round of All Time

Okay so it's 9:30 and I just got home from a 4 hour round of golf with the temperature in the 90's for a good portion of it, needless to say I don't have the energy to pump out a blog entry.  It's either pump out a blog, or drink some fluids to gain back some of the 15 lbs I probably lost.  For all those that know the Jayman, just know this: I drank 3 beers, a large Gatorade, and about 3 large Gatorade bottles full of water throughout the round, and I didn't pee once.  The guys I was golfing with said I had so much @ss sweat it looked like I sat in a pool.  It was hot!  More details forthcoming tomorrow for sure. 

Hope you all had a great Wednesday.  I'll catch up with you soon...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Half Naked Jayman?!?

Another day in the books for the Jayman. Only a few more days and I’ll be in the armpit of America, errr, the one and only beautiful city of Cincinnati. Can’t wait, should be an awesome time. But, that’s a few days away. Here’s today’s stuff…

Check out this article. Looks like all the Jersey Shore hangout spots have become popular tourist destinations this summer. I’m actually a little ashamed that I was/am so into the show after reading this article. People are shelling out anywhere from 2 to 6 grand a night to stay in that house where Sitch, Ron Ron, DJ Paulie D and the rest of the crew stayed for 8 weeks. Some people just have too much money. Anyways, check out the article if you’re into that sort of thing. It really is amazing at how many different people and businesses are capitalizing on the success of the (dirty) Jersey Shore.

So the guy that I went golfing with the other day, the one whose brother was a little bit of a loose cannon? Remember him? Well what do you know happens today? I had just run my 4 miles for the day and I’m in the locker room afterwards, getting ready to jump in the shower. I take my socks and shoes off, take my shirt off, then take my boxers off. Then I usually wrap my towel around my waist and then take my boxers off. Well, it just so happened that in the 5 seconds it takes from the time I take my shorts on to the time I put the towel around my waist, what do you know, he comes strolling through the locker room. What does he see, but a sweaty, hot mess known as JTG standing there in his boxer shorts. Probably not what he expected at 2:30 in the afternoon. Ah well, what can you do? It was a little funny, a little awkward, and thankfully, we both laughed about it later in the afternoon.

The other funny thing that happened to me today happened where all funny stories happen, in the bathroom (wasn’t really that funny, but I’m trying to fill a blog here…work with me people). I walk in and go to the urinal, and I can hear the headphones blaring on the guy standing next to me at the other urinal. Whatever, I don’t think anything of it. He’s done, then he goes over to wash his hands. 20 seconds later, I’m done, then I walk over to the sink to wash my hands. He yells “HEY JAY” at the top of his lungs. I almost fell over it was so loud. Only, he had his headphones on so loud that he didn’t realize he was yelling. It was pretty funny. Maybe you just had to be there.

Come on, I know you’re all excited for the Jets and Giants to play in the 2014 Super Bowl in dirty Jersey. Maybe they’ll have The Sitch do the coin toss. Seriously though, I love the idea. It’ll be cool to have the game in cold weather for once. After all, it is football here, and both teams play on the same field. I’m all for it, why not. Here’s to hoping that the Giants will be the first team to ever play in the Super Bowl at their home stadium.

How about the Magic last night? Pretty much the most surprised I’ve been for an NBA game in quite some time. I know not everyone that reads this is necessarily a big NBA fan, but I just wanted to at least point out that the ole Jayman was stunned. Apparently Vegas was stunned too last night as they had the Celtics as 7.5 point favorites and the moneyline for the Magic was +280. You know, if Internet betting was legal and all. Here’s to hoping that they make an improbable comeback from 3-0 down and beat the Celtics. Even though I know the Lakers/Celtics would be a better final, I just can’t stand the Celtics at all and just want to see them and their scummy Boston fans lose.

Okay that’s all I got for ya tonight. Nothing all that great or exciting going on in the Jayman’s world today. Tomorrow should be fun as I’m golfing with William Hem Royd. Then Thursday the jerk is leaving our Company to go elsewhere, so we’re having a happy hour for him. And then, the next stop is the Nasty Nati. All kinds of good stuff coming up. Hope you had a great Tuesday everyone. Catch up with you soon...